Did you spend all your time gazing at strangers swallowing down words hoping they’d love you because of your eyes alone? Like maybe if you blinked hard enough in their direction they’d feel your heart beating loud under all those layers of cardigan saying ‘please look my way and don’t ever look away.’
Baby, who taught you to be quiet? Don’t you realise that sometimes you have to unwind your arms from around yourself and speak loud enough for someone to be able to hear you?”
Other people will always seem like they’ve got it more together than you.
Never, ever compare the gifts you’re given to the gifts of someone else. Don’t compare your supportive relationship to their dream job. Don’t rank someone else’s family life or financial security or social skills against your own and find them superior.
You will never really know what’s going on. You only know how YOU feel, only see YOUR dark days, and the truth is that feeling like you’re terrible is what comes when you compare your mistakes to a romanticized version of someone else’s life.
I’ve had periods of time where I’ve envied others so much it’s quite frankly turned me into a bitter person. I’ve had other moments where people have dismissed some of my very real feelings of depression as contrived because they couldn’t believe I was struggling.
You just never can know what’s really happening, unless you ask. And if you ask, you should listen. And if you’re asked, you should answer truthfully. When we compare ourselves, we put up walls against the very people who may most relate.
Call someone crying at 3 am if that’s what it takes. Hop in the car and drive for a while. Don’t view the successes of others as a reminder of your own shortcomings.
Everyone has something to offer, stories to tell, people to save. Everyone also has faults, shadows, complexities. These can tear you down or remind you that no, you don’t have to do it all.
Nobody is asking you to be perfect. If judgment from others is your biggest fear, remember that they too fear judgment from you. No matter how costly, if you need to be honest, do so. The right people will always love you.